Buzzcocks- Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve?)

WHO: Buzzcocks

WHAT: Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t’ve?) (Just Lust)

WHEN: 1978

LABEL: United Artists UP 36455

Recycling. That’s where my addiction to 45’s stems from. Recycling crap LPs that no one would listen to into handy bowls that no one would use. Deciding that we should at least listen to the music we were destroying, we got the radiogram and I started to buy records to keep and listen to instead of ones to melt down.  I know what you’re thinking, that its sacrilege to destroy records. I promise that I’ve not destroyed anything (that I think is) good, and I’ve saved more from the scrapheap than I’ve melted. Honest.

Its not just records I recycle. I like to recycle the junk mail that comes through the door with those handy bin bags attached that say things like “Thank You For Your Donation”. They also say “Collection Monday”, but that’s wrong. Our bins are collected on a Wednesday. I’m that environmentally friendly that I also recycle the comments, opinion and jokes that I find online and re-package it as my own. Speaking of which….

Buzzcocks are a punk band from Bolton, fronted by Pete Shelley. They had some success in the late seventies before disbanding in 1981 (later reforming many times after 1989). They were the first band to prove Fermat’s last theorem (citation needed).

THE A SIDE

I don’t know where I first heard this one. But it’s a classic. This was their biggest hit reaching 12 in the UK charts. It’s an excellent pop tune with a great sing along chorus. Written by Pete Shelley and, according to my sources (Wikipedia, so it must be true), inspired from a line he heard while watching the musical Guys and Dolls, which must make it the best tune whose title came from a musical.

This has been covered by lots of people, never as successfully as the original I think. One of these covers was even on the soundtrack of that cinematic classic “Shrek 2”. I think the best version I’ve heard (apart from the original of course) is this one by French band “Nouvelle Vague”.

THE B SIDE

A good tune “JustLust”, a rawer punkier tune than the A-side. Alan Dial the bands former manager is credited alongside Shelley as writer of this track. It was on the same album as the A-side, “Love Bites”.

”Lipstick” The B-side to the next single “Promises” has the same guitar part as “Shot by Both Sides” by former Buzzcocks member Howard Devoto’s subsequent band Magazine. Not that it has anything to do with this tune, but interesting none the less. Well maybe not interesting, but true. Well maybe not true but….

THE VINYL

No cover, apart from a yellowing paper replacement. It has been listened to a few times as evidenced by the scratches. Nothing too bad, it plays fine, but you couldn’t describe it as being in mint condition. Maybe pre-loved, that’s what they call second hand cars nowadays. Pre loved. Sounds a bit mucky, “ Pre loved Ford Sierra for sale, one careful owner, cleaned inside and out, new flange recently fitted £100 ono”. Change the words “Ford Sierra” with “Blow up doll” and you’ll see what I mean.

MY VERDICT

It’s good this. Unlike this post.

David Bowie - John, I'm Only Dancing (Again)/John I'm Only Dancing

 

WHO: David Bowie

WHAT: John, I’m Only Dancing (again)  (John, I’m Only dancing)

WHEN: 1979

LABEL: RCA – BOW 4

I was at a loss as to what to write about this time. I was going to do a Halloween special and write about a spooky themed record (could have been the Monster Mash by Bobby “Boris “ Pickett and the Crypt Kickers or maybe Purple People Eater by Sheb Wooley or maybe even Ghost Town by The Specials) but I was too late, but since no one reads this anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’ll maybe do it next year, if I haven’t given up by then in a fit of apathy.

So, to help me make a decision of what to write about this time, I put a stack of records on the player at random. And as “John, I’m Only Dancing (again)” by David Bowie came on, the cat decided to make her feelings clear on the choice of tune. She hoisted her hind legs in the air, fixed me with a stare that says “what do you think of this, little man?” and preceded to scoot herself along the floor, leaving a little brown trail, and maintaining eye contact throughout proceedings. My girlfriend found this hilarious, as being five months pregnant, she can’t go within a few miles of cat shit, and so it was muggins here who was going to have to clean up after the filthy little scrote (that’s the cat, not the girlfriend. She didn’t find it that funny). So after a fun packed half hour of chasing the cat around the flat with a wad of kitchen roll in one hand and a spray bottle of Dettol in the other cleaning up all the arse trails and chocolate kisses she left on the floor (thank the gods we don’t have any carpets in the house) I decided that “John, I’m Only Dancing (again)” by David Bowie would do as a single to write about.

What can you say about David Bowie, the chameleon of rock? Nothing that hasn’t been said before, so I won’t bore you with a re-telling of facts, anecdotes and opinions that any numpty who’s used heard of Wikipedia could do, even if that’s exactly what I do every time I write one of these posts. If you don’t know any of Bowie’s music, I suggest you listen to some.

My first memories of Bowie are from the film “The Labyrinth”, a great film, with some very scary scenes (for young kids), but none so scary as the horrendously tight trousers Bowie has to wear as part of his costume of Jareth, the Goblin King. Bowie’s crotch, combined with his hair-do, very nearly renders the whole film unwatchable. Nearly.

Anyway, enough of Bowie’s family jewels.

THE A SIDE

This is a kind of remix version of the original song “John, I’m Only Dancing” which is on the B side of this disc. It’s a kind of funky disco version of the original. Recorded during the sessions for the album “Young Americans” in 1976. It wasn’t released until 1979 as a non-album track and reached number 12 in the UK charts.

THE B SIDE

This is much better, in my opinion. A more satisfying tune it’s a simpler version of the track in more of a glam rock style. Again this reached number 12 in the UK charts when it was released as a non-album single in 1972. It didn’t get a release in the US, as it was considered too risqué by the record company due to its supposed homosexual lyrical content. Oh well, that was their loss.

THE VINYL

Perfect condition this one, apart from having no sleeve. And someone must have taken umbrage to the label on the B side because they’ve half heartedly tried to scrub away RCA, using a black pen (on a black label). But it plays perfectly.

MY VERDICT

I think I broadly agree with the cat’s assessment of this track, although it’s not as bad as to warrant a dirty protest. I think it’s a case of “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, I much prefer the original version on the B side. I’m off now to try and teach the cat to use toilet paper. Failing that, I’ve got a cork and a mallet.

The Jam - Going Underground/The Dreams of Children

WHO: The Jam

WHAT: Going Underground (The Dreams of Children)

WHEN: 1980

LABEL: Polydor - POSP 113

The Jam was a kind of punk band. They had a different look and sound to other punk bands, wearing smart suits and looking more respectable than their punk contemporaries and probably endured a lot less spitting at their gigs. I wonder then if that makes them a punk band at all, maybe new-wave would be a better description for them. Who can say for sure, its one of those philosophical questions like: if the Pope falls in a forest, does anyone hear him shit?

Lots of people like the Jam, but personally, I can’t really see what all the fuss is about. I mean I like their bigger hits like “Going Underground”, “Eaton Rifles” and “That’s Entertainment” but I can’t help but feel they were more style over substance. There is no denying that they had bags of style and the Jam and Paul Weller (songwriter, guitarist and vocalist) in particular was credited as a big influence by a lot of the “Britpop” bands of the 90s. But I don’t really get it. I wasn’t really into Britpop either though, so maybe it’s not for me.

THE A SIDE

Like I said before, I like this tune. It has a great, instantly recognizable, intro and good rhythmic low-key vocals by Weller.  Some tight drumming by Rick Buckler and very competent bass by Bruce Foxton. An excellent sing along chorus makes this a superb pop song. The lyrics are a criticism of the politics of Thatcher’s Britain and the policy of spending money of “defense”, when maybe the money could go on helping the poorest in society. It also points an accusatory finger at the electorate: “And the public gets what the public wants/ but I want nothing this society’s got…” For that line read: “you voted for this government so it’s your own fault”

The top comment on YouTube for the video is: “I want this played at my funeral”. Guffaw! How very witty. Better than the countdown theme at a cremation, I suppose.

THE B SIDE

Apparently, this was originally supposed to be the A side and with a mistake at the pressing plant, it became a double A side (although the version I have just has an A on one side). Its probably a good job that “The Dreams of Children” wasn’t the A side, because compared to “Going Underground” it’s not as catchy or hit worthy. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good but it’s no “Going Underground”.

This was the first of the Jams singles to go straight in at number one in the UK charts, and I’m not sure it would have done that if “The Dreams of Children” had been the sole A side and DJs of the time didn’t choose the better (in my opinion) “Going Underground”.

THE VINYL

I’d bought this before, but didn’t pay too much attention to the condition of it and, as well as having no middle and no sleeve (hi kids), it had a massive crack bisecting it. Bollocks! So when I spotted this for 50p at South Shields Market I examined it a bit closer. This one had a middle, and even a replacement cardboard sleeve. Result.

MY VERDICT

A good pop song with a message, delivered with aplomb, by a band I just can’t bring myself to love. Not bad, though. One and a half thumbs up.

Queen-Bicycle Race/Fat Bottomed Girls

WHO: Queen

WHAT: Bicycle Race/Fat Bottomed Girls

WHEN: 1978

LABEL: EMI 2870   

Ok, this isn’t a popular position, but I like Queen. They shift in and out of fashion and, as far as I can tell, they’re probably un-cool right now. For many people they are the epitome of everything that was wrong with rock music in the seventies and beyond. But sod it I like them. I like the decadent campness. I like the humor. I like the fact that they stood proudly in the face of the relentless tide of punk and stayed resolutely big hair and leotards, all painstaking production and decadent parties, still notching up the hits, while other rock dinosaurs were becoming quickly extinct. I like Queen.

As far as I can remember, they have always been part of my musical consciousness. I think my dad was a fan, not a super-fan, he didn’t dress up in a leotard or have a massive poodle perm, but he appreciated the music. On family trips when we were young we had one tape that we played more than any other. On one side was Queens “Greatest Hits (one)”, on which both these tracks feature, and on the other was The Pogues “Rum, Sodomy and the Lash” (weird combination I know, but maybe its part of the reason I’ve got such a random* taste in music). Anyway, I reckon my brothers and me could still sing both these albums word for word. It wouldn’t be pretty but it’d be possible.

THE A SIDE

“Bicycle Race” was released as a double A side with “Fat Bottomed Girls” in 1978. It’s a strange one this, but still typically Queen. A song written by Freddie Mercury about wanting to ride his bike? Why not? In it he lets us know, in no uncertain terms, that he wants to ride his bicycle, and he wants to ride it where he likes. An argument with himself ensues and then a great bicycle bell solo, probably the only one in rock and roll history. 

The video is worth mentioning, not only for Brian Mays hair (always good for a laugh) but also for its inclusion of (according to Wikipedia) 65 naked women, participating in a bicycle race around Wimbledon Greyhound Stadium (I have studied the promotional poster at great length and can only count 50, I’d better have another look). I doubt that video would get made today, probably all sorts of health and safety issues. There is also a reference to the other A side here when Freddie proclaims “Fat bottomed girls they’ll be riding today, so look out for those beauties, oh yeah”

THE A SIDE

A reciprocal mention on this track to its fellow A side near the end when Freddie suggests to the titular girls of the plump posteriors that they should “Get on your bike and ride!” but I’m getting ahead of myself. Written by guitarist Brian May (he with the head of hair), it is a love song (or maybe lust-song would be more apt) to those ladies of the fuller figure. This is one of my favorite Queen tracks with some great lyrics, expertly delivered as always by Mercury. Starting off with the harmonies that are trademark Queen followed by great electric-blues bass riff by John Deacon with a huge thumping rhythm delivered by Roger Taylor and some great guitar by t’other one, May. It chugs along in the usual way with the standard anthemic chorus that makes for a classic Queen track.

THE VINYL

It has a couple of minor scratches but it’s not in bad condition considering it came with no sleeve. A bit of a pity this, because the cover is fantastic. An iconic image of one of the globe arsed lovelies from the “Bicycle Race” video on her bike, photographed by David Finch.

MY VERDICT

Two great tracks by the band that is flamboyance personified.

*This is meant in the old sense of being haphazard and arbitrary, and not the new sense of being odd.

Top image adapted from sleeve of “Bicycle Race/Fat Bottomed Girls”.

Dave & Ansel Collins - Monkey Spanner

WHO: Dave & Ansel Collins

WHAT: Monkey Spanner (Monkey Spanner-Version Two)

WHEN: 1971

LABEL: Techniques

I first got into ska and reggae about ten years ago, thanks to Nick, a guy I used to work with. He would tape late night radio 1 to listen to the next day. It was mainly modern jazz (nice!), and it didn’t do anything for me but every now and then he’d tape the late night documentaries too.  One was about Trojan Records, the legendary Jamaican record label. I think this was when the path of my musical tastes veered off on a side road and I’m still lost on a musical b-road somewhere.

I don’t remember what was said about the label, but the music was amazing. I’d listened to a tiny bit of reggae before, mainly Bob Marley, but this was different. For ages afterwards I ate up anything that was released by Trojan but not the condoms. Apparently that’s a different company. (Always thought that was a weird sideline, reggae and rubbers). Nick helped me sate this voracious appetite by bringing in some tapes to listen to. Turns out when he lived in London as a kid, his older brother was a bit of a suede-head (an offshoot of the more well known skin-heads), so he knew a bit about the genre, and shared some of the music with me. Thanks Nick!

When I saw the names, Dave & Ansel Collins, on this single as I was rummaging through another market (Tynemouth, I think) I knew the names from their more well known and first release Double Barrel (a great tune, and one I haven’t got yet, if you don’t know it listen to it here).

THE A SIDE

Although I didn’t recognize the track “Monkey Spanner” I picked it up anyway, and it turns out I had heard it before.

 “This is ……… a heavy, heavy monster sound!” announces Dave at the top of this track, not Dave Collins (they weren’t brothers). His name is Barker, but really its David Crooks. Lee “Scratch” Perry decided that Dave Barker had a better ring to it. Maybe, but I don’t think Dave agreed, otherwise the single would be by Dave Barker and Ansel Collins, and not something that makes it sound like they’re in a civil partnership. Anyway, Dave “not Collins” Barker lets us know about the imminent weighty and monstrous emanations, over a great (probably guitar) noise, and lets us know he can sing, as well as make announcements about the mass and monstrousness of the sounds. Soon after that, Mr. Collins makes his presence felt with some cool and catchy keyboard.

THE B SIDE

The B side is an instrumental version of the “Monkey Spanner”. Collins and S.Riley wrote the tune, maybe some relation to the producer of the track Winston Riley. Maybe they were married too. Probably not.

Ansel Collins was a prolific session keyboardist, playing on some of the legendary reggae tracks of the seventies. Monkey Spanner is a great tune (instrumental or otherwise), maybe not as catchy or recognisable as “Double Barrel”, but until I find a copy of that, this’ll do quite nicely.

THE VINYL

This one has no previous owners names gouged into the label and is in perfect nick as far as my inexpert eye can tell. It plays perfectly and will continue to do so whenever I feel like some classic seventies reggae.

MY VERDICT

This is a heavy, heavy monster sound and one that helped influence the 2tone revival later in the decade, as evidenced in the intro to “One Step Beyond” by Madness (Don’t watch that, watch this. This is the heavy, heavy monster sound, the nuttiest sound around…etc.).  A nice slice of classic reggae “hittin’ you right there, right there in the middle…”.

Booker T. and the MGs

WHO: Booker T. and the MGs

WHAT: Green Onions (Boot Leg)

WHEN: 1979

LABEL: Atlantic – K10109

When sifting through the vinyl in charity shops you see a lot of the same stuff. Mrs. Mills albums (sing along piano songs popular in the sixties), The Black and White Minstrel Show records (offensive, borderline racist TV show popular in the sixties), loads of Barry Manilow records (a bloody awful crooner who was inexplicably popular in the seventies and beyond) and lots and lots of classical music records (the good people of Tyneside were definitely more cultured than people give them credit for).  The odd time you get 7” singles it’s more often than not of a similar caliber than the LP’s. But it’s worth persisting in this seemingly futile search because sometimes you come across some treasure.

I was ready to give up on one of my frequent searches through the charity shops of South Shields on a damp and drizzly afternoon. I’d already been in four of shops and found nothing of note (there is some good, cheap furniture to be got at charity shops, but that’s for a different blog). I popped into the last one on the street and started sifting through the usual tawdry selection, when I came across this. “Green Onions” by Booker T and the MGs.

THE A SIDE

Stax Records first released “Green Onions” in 1962. But this version was released in 1979 by Atlantic. They were the house band of Stax Records and were made up of Booker T. Jones (organ, piano), Lewie Stienberg (bass, replaced by Donald “Duck” Dunn in 1965), Steve Cropper (guitar) and Al Jackson Jr. (drums). They played the backing tracks for a lot of big names, including Otis Reading and Wilson Picket. This is the tune that the band is best known for and is a great funky, bluesy soul instrumental. If you listen to this tune and your feet don’t start tapping or your head doesn’t start nodding, then I have some bad news for you, I think you may be dead. Honestly, if this tune does nothing for you then you’d be better off with some Barry Manilow or Mrs. Mills.

THE B SIDE

Another great soul instrumental here, not as catchy as “Green Onions” mind you but still a toe tapper if ever I’ve heard one. Although credited, Booker T. didn’t actually play keyboard on this one; it was actually Isaac Hayes, famous for the sound track of the blaxploitation movie Shaft, especially “Theme from Shaft” (you’re damn right), and later for his role as Chef on South Park. Hayes was a songwriter and producer for Stax, and filled in for the young Booker T., when he was at university.

THE VINYL

The record is in very good condition, considering it had probably been rattling about in the charity shop for a while, and it still has its original sleeve (and a middle). No one has inscribed his or her name on the label or sleeve, which is quite rare for second hand singles. The only thing wrong with it is and a hole punched in the top right hand corner and a little bit of blue pen on the top of the sleeve. Not bad at all.

MY VERDICT

A great tune bought for just 50p (that went to charity, mate), in good condition, with a good B side and no major scratches. Quality.

Sugarhill Gang - Rappers Delight

WHO: Sugarhill Gang

WHAT: Rappers Delight (Rappers Delight)

WHEN: 1979

LABEL:  Sugarhill Records – SH 101

I like this so much I bought it twice. I got another copy so I could listen to both sides one after the other, without having to flip it over. Is that a bit sad? Maybe, but I’m unrepentant. I found the first copy at South Shields market for £1 and the other across the Tyne at Tynemouth market for another pound.

The Sugarhill Gang were assembled by late, legendary producer Sylvia Robertson, founder of Sugarhill Records, and comprised Wonder Mike (Michael Anthony Wright), Big Bank Hank (Henry Jackson) and Master Gee (Guy O’Brien). They are credited with bringing Rap into the main stream with this single.

THE A SIDE

There are a few different versions of this tune, all a different length. The version on the A side is the short 7” version, coming in at a mere 3:58 compared to the album version at a whopping 14:37.

Performed over the disco hit “Good Times” by Chic, this shows the origins of rap as an evolution of, or as a reaction to, disco and funk. Some of the lyrics are borderline genius on this track, and are still trotted out (albeit altered) by some rappers these days.

It’s definitely from a more innocent time in rap as you can tell by some of the more dubious rhymes. For example:

“Singing on and a on and on and on/ the beat don’t stop ‘till the break of dawn/Singing on and a on and on on and on/ rock, rock, yall, throw it on the floor”

At least I think that’s what it is. Mind you, this was brand new (at least as a recorded art form) back in 1979, so what sounds a bit clunky to modern ears was probably lyrical gold back in the late seventies.

THE B SIDE

As I’ve said already there are different versions of this tune and the B side is just that. In my opinion though this side has some out and out genius lyrics. For example, the bit when Big Bank Hank is dissing Superman is fantastic.

“He’s a fairy, I do suppose/Flying through the air in pantyhose/ He may be very sexy, or even cute/ but he looks like a sucker in a blue and red suit/ I said you need a man who's got finesse/ and his own name across his chest/ he may be able to fly all through the night/ but can he rock a party ‘til the early light/ he cant satisfy you with his little worm/ but I can bust you out with my super sperm“

I mean, forget Shakespeare that last couplet about super sperm is up there in the top three rhymes of history.

Speaking of the top three rhymes, the part when Wonder Mike starts rapping about going to his friends’ house for dinner is probably my favourite part, and makes me laugh every time I hear it. I wont quote it all here but I would like to submit the following for your consideration:

“So you say that's it I got to leave this place/ I don’t’ care what these people think/ I’m just sitting here making myself nauseous/ with this ugly food that stinks “

Genius.

THE VINYL

One of my copies has a scratch on the B side, which causes Hank to say “can he rock a..? can he rock a..? can he rock a..? can he rock a..? can he rock a..?” until you move the needle (which is another reason I have two copies). but the other copy plays spot on. The only thing wrong with it is another previous owner felt it necessary to write his name on the label. Thanks Les, wherever you are.

MY VERDICT

This is one of the most important records of the last 40 years, being the single that brought rap music to the general public. Because of this, and because it’s a brilliant record, it has a place of honour in my collection.